If You Want To Talk
by headoverhook
Summary: "He can go if you want to talk. Should he go?" Lexie had come to his place to tell him about her true feelings, not expecting Jackson to be at Mark's apartment. Will she tell him nonetheless? COMPLETE


**I couldn't resist. But be warned the M-rating is well deserved. Smut-wise and language-wise because in my opinion Mark could get very angry when he finds out that Lexie didn't tell him for such a long time and I got carried away. So read at your own risk. Hope you enjoy!**

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><p><strong>If You Want To Talk<strong>

Lexie stood in front of his door, asking herself one more time if she should really knock. Staring at the 501 on the door she straightened herself and decided that she would stop being a coward. She needed to tell him. She raised her hand and knocked, waiting for Mark to open the door. She adjusted Zola on her hip, glad that she could use her as the reason why she was here. That she came over so that Zola and Sofia could spent some time together.

When Mark opened the door, she was speechless for a second. There she was. Standing in front of him with the intention to tell him about her true feelings.

"Hey."

Mark hadn't expected Lexie on the other side of the door. He hadn't expected Avery either. But if someone would have asked him Lexie would have been the last one he would have named who could appear at his apartment. But before he could say anything Lexie cut him off.

"I thought maybe the … girls could have a playdate and … we could … talk, you know ... about stuff. Because there is stuff that I've been wanting to say." Lexie stuttered nervously, her courage vanishing with rapid speed. When she suddenly heard a sound out of the apartment her eyes widened with shock.

"Ohhh, is that Julia? I'll .. I'll go!"

"Avery is cooking me dinner." Mark grinned at her apologetically, knowing that this situation was a little awkward for her.

"Ohhh, that's ..." Lexie started to speak but Mark interrupted her before she could say anything else.

"But he can go … if you want to talk." Something about her nervousness made him extremely curious what she wanted to tell him. He had a strange sense of déjà vu. This situation was just too similar to the one where she was knocking at his hotel room years ago.

"Should he go?" Mark asked, his voice suddenly low so that Jackson couldn't hear him.

But before Lexie could say anything Jackson appeared behind Mark and the moment he saw Lexie his eyes got slightly accusatory. After all she had told him more than once that there was nothing left between her and Mark. She just confirmed it again that she had been lying right into his face every time she had said it.

"Nope." Lexie shook her head vehemently, feeling extremely uncomfortable with the situation. She just wanted to turn around and storm off. "It's nothing. I .. I'm gonna … you know what, you two have a very pleasant evening."

"Don't be stupid." Mark would not let her walk away like this. Maybe Jackson would get the clue and would leave on his own and if not he just had to come up with something to make him leave. "You love steak. Sofia, your friend's here."

Mark pulled her into the apartment and Lexie couldn't remember that she was ever in a more awkward position. She was standing in the living room of her ex-boyfriend, who didn't know that she was still in love with him, while her other ex-boyfriend, who knew that she was still in love with the other ex-boyfriend, was cooking him dinner. She almost laughed out loud about the ridiculousness of the situation. Only she was able to get into such a ludicrous situation. To distract herself she cooed to Zola and carried her over to Sofia's playpen, putting her down carefully while she rambled some nonsense into the ear of her niece.

Mark walked over to the table and sat down while Jackson went back to the steaks and a few minutes later he shouted out.

"Dinner is ready. You both want it medium, right?"

Lexie couldn't care less if her steak was rare, medium or well done. She only came to Mark's apartment to finally tell him. She didn't intend to eat. When Jackson put the plate in front of her, she just pushed the food around, asking herself when she could stand up and take Zola to go home without looking suspicious.

Mark glanced over to Lexie every few seconds. He couldn't wrap his head around the fact that all the weird things she was doing in his presence lately seemed to suggest that she still had feelings for him. But she had been the one who told him that she didn't want to love him, that she was happy with Jackson. Well, apparently Jackson didn't make her that happy, considering that they broke up three months ago. Shaking his head, Mark realized that he obviously just interpreted too much into their conversations. She didn't want to be with him anymore and he let her go.

Jackson watched both of them and looking at Lexie's face he realized that she wasn't far away from her breaking point and even though she never truly loved him, he still had feelings for her and he couldn't stand to see her hurt. When he looked at Mark he could clearly see that he was trying to figure out why Lexie came to his apartment and without him being here Lexie would have probably already told Mark that she was still in love with him.

"Oh come on, that's getting ridiculous." Jackson exclaimed. When both Mark and Lexie looked at him questioningly he couldn't suppress a sarcastic chuckle before he addressed Lexie.

"Just tell him. I can't believe you still need to be pushed. I broke up with you. Because of _him_. So do us all a favor and just tell him."

Jackson threw the napkin frustrated on the table and pushed his chair back so that it fell backwards and landed on the floor with a loud thud. Shaking his head in disbelief, he picked up his stuff and stormed out of the apartment. After the door closed after Jackson, Lexie kept her gaze to the plate in front of her, too afraid to look up.

"Lex?" Mark asked quietly, using the name Lexie always considered to be the name only Mark should be allowed to use. Every time he said it in this low, husky voice she had to suppress a shiver.

"Don't call me that?" Lexie exclaimed angrily.

"Why?" Mark asked, not understanding why she got upset when he called her Lex.

"Because ..." Lexie trailed off, balling her hand into a fist.

"Lex, ..." When he saw Lexie flinching again, he put a hand over hers and spoke urgently. "What was Avery talking about? What should you tell me? What did he mean when he said he broke up with you because of me?"

"He just told you the truth." Lexie replied barely above a whisper.

"The truth? What truth?" When Lexie still refused to look up to him, Mark lost his patience and raised his hand to pull her face upwards, forcing her to look into his eyes. "Lexie, you came to me. Clearly you wanted to tell me something. You said it yourself. So what is it?"

"I ..." Lexie bit her lip, her heart was beating violently in her chest.

"Just spill it." Mark stated exasperatedly.

"The truth is that Jackson broke up with me because he chose you."

"What?" Mark asked baffled.

"He chose you." Lexie reiterated.

"What do you mean he chose me? What are you talking about?"

"Can you remember when he refused to scrub in on a surgery?"

"Yeah, vaguely."

"The reason he didn't scrub in was … well, he couldn't work with you because of this thing between you and me." Lexie tried to explain, looking at Mark expectantly, waiting for his response.

"There is no thing between you and me." Mark said confused. "Well, not anymore."

"That's what I've told him." Lexie paused briefly, gathering all the courage she had left. "But he was right. There is a thing between you and me."

"Can you be more specific?"

"He asked me to speak up if it isn't true. But I couldn't say something to stop him."

"Please stop beating around the bush and just tell me what you wanted to tell me in the first place." Mark said, losing his patience.

"Okay, just give me a minute."

Mark was slightly confused when he watched her flexing her hands, seeing that every time she straightened her hands they trembled like crazy. She opened and closed her hands for a few times, breathing in and out loudly. Mark knew that what would come out of her mouth next would be huge. When she finally looked into his eyes again, he just raised a brow waiting patiently for her to speak.

"Okay, just promise me one thing." Lexie said quietly.

"What?"

"Please don't interrupt me."

"I'll try." Mark promised and when Lexie looked at him reproachfully, he just shrugged his shoulders. "That's all I can give you."

Lexie stared at him for a few seconds, kneading her hands nervously before she finally started to speak.

"I was jealous. I was extremely jealous when I saw you kissing Julia on the baseball field and Jackson saw it. I wasn't even able to hide it from him and then Justine Campbell came along and she needed me to type for her and the book she was writing was just too close to home. She made me realize that I was only fooling myself."

Lexie took in a deep breath, staring at Mark expectantly. But he kept his promise and said nothing, so Lexie continued to speak.

"Her book was about a woman between two men and at the end she chose not the one everyone had expected she would choose but the one who she was truly in love with. She chose her soul mate."

Lexie stopped talking and when Mark realized that she wouldn't start again without him saying something he just stated calmly.

"What's your point?"

"My point is, that I already found my soul mate and Jackson realized it before me." When Mark just stared at her with a confused expression on his face, she elaborated. "You. You are my soul mate."

"I … What did you just say?" Mark stuttered.

"You're my soul mate. I love you, Mark Sloan. I never stopped being in love with you. I don't care if you have a daughter. I really don't care. I love you and it cuts me up inside every time you mention Julia in front of me. I know it's not your fault. You moved on and I should let you move on. But this case today was just … I had to tell you, Mark. I could get hit by a car tomorrow, _you_ could get hit by a car tomorrow and I couldn't live with the fact that you might never know. At least I've told you how I feel in case I really die tomorrow." Looking at his shocked expression, Lexie decided that she couldn't wait for an answer, the urge to flee the scene was just too big. "I should probably go. I'm sorry, Mark. You're in a relationship. I shouldn't have told you anything."

Lexie rushed towards the door without even thinking about Zola. The only thing she could think about was how fast she could get out of his apartment.

Mark looked after her completely dumbfounded. She just told him that she loved him and then turned around and just left him without giving him the chance to say anything. He would not let that happen. He stood up quickly and followed Lexie.

When Lexie closed her hand around the door knob she suddenly felt him behind her even though he didn't touch her. Holding her breath, she waited for his next move, her hand frozen on the door knob. Without saying anything he put his hand over hers and intertwined his fingers with hers, so that she had to release the door knob out of her grip. Taking her other hand with his hand, he raised his arms simultaneously.

Lexie gripped his fingers tightly when he put their joint hands against the door. A shiver ran down her spine when she felt his scruff against her cheek. Mark moved from her cheek to her ear and took her ear lobe between his teeth for a second before he released it and whispered hoarsely, with an intensity that shot chills through her whole body.

"You waited months to tell me that. Months!" Mark's voice became even lower and Lexie could hear the hardly suppressed anger in his words. "You've got to be fucking kidding me. My whole body, every single cell, ached for you. It almost killed me to think about you and Jackson. That he is the one who was going home with you. That he was the one who could take you in every way he wanted and all I could think about was that I wanted to drag you in an on call room and fuck you against the wall. Fuck you senseless until you scream my name." Mark took in a deep breath, trying to not lose his composure completely. "But do you know what was the worst part?" Lexie could only shake her head, not able to say anything. But suddenly Mark's voice changed and he said hoarsely, his voice full of emotion. "The worst part is that I love you. That I'm still madly in love with you. And you waited months to tell me that you want me back? Lexie, how could you do that to me?"

"Mark, I … I'm sorry." Lexie licked her dry lips, trying to come up with something, anything to explain her actions. But Mark didn't wait for her to sort out what she wanted to say, he pushed his hips forward and plastered her against the door, his erection digging into her ass.

"Do you feel that?" Mark growled into her ear. "Do you feel how much I want you? Damn, Lexie. The moment I opened the door I was lost. And what did you do? You chickened out! For god's sake you had the courage to come to me but the moment you realized that Avery was with me you just gave up. Your ex was cooking dinner for me. I tried to be friendly with him. Because of you, Lex. Only because of you."

"You let us waste so much time, Lex. Oh my god, I've missed you so much." When he buried his face in her hair and smelled her scent again, his eyes welled up with tears as he was suddenly overwhelmed by his emotions.

"I don't care if this sounds pathetic but I need you. Just …" Mark turned her around and threw her against the door before he lowered his head until their lips where only a few inches apart. "I love you. Let me make love to you."

"I need you too." Lexie said breathlessly before she wrapped her hands around his neck and pulled him down to her. Her tongue swept into his mouth and Mark groaned loudly before he kissed her back passionately. Fireworks exploded behind his closed eye lids and his legs began to tremble when Lexie pressed her body into his. "Oh my god, Mark." Lexie whispered when he began to trail kisses along her neck, sucking in her flesh. His one hand was digging into her ass while he slipped his other hand under her shirt. "Please …" Lexie sucked in a breath when Mark slipped his fingers under her bra, his thumb stroking roughly over her erected nipple. "I want you in me. Now." Lexie breathed desperately.

Mark took a step back. His breath came out in chopped hitches, his eyes were full of hunger and desire and the heat shot straight to her core, making her wet in an instant. Suddenly her gaze fell on the playpen with the two girls in it.

"Oh my god, Mark. Shit. We forgot Zola and Sofia." Mark turned around and looked at the two kids, playing happily together.

"They look fine." Mark grabbed Lexie's hand and pulled her towards his bed room. When they passed the playpen, he stopped briefly and bent down. "We'll be back soon, okay? Just be good girls for a few minutes. I promise it won't take long."

With his last words he locked eyes with Lexie and a shiver ran down her spine. He was right. It wouldn't take long. She could already feel her orgasm building up. He had brought her that close by only looking at her like that.

When they reached the partition to his bed room, Mark almost threw her in before he closed the door after him. Lexie stumbled towards the bed but stopped dead in her tracks when she heard Mark's voice behind her.

"No. I'm too angry for the bed." Lexie turned around slowly and looked at him questioningly. "Wall! Now!"

Lexie walked slowly backwards, her eyes never leaving his. Mark followed her, already unbuttoning his jeans and Lexie's fingers shook violently when she started to unbutton her jeans as well. Licking her lips nervously she watched him pull his shirt over his head and her hands dropped to her side when he stopped a few feet away from her. Locking eyes with her, he pushed his jeans slowly down to the ground and Lexie gulped hard as her gaze dropped to his mid-section, his arousal clearly visible.

"Clothes off. Now!" Mark growled demanding and like in trance Lexie took off her jeans and shirt, standing only in her bra and panties in front of him.

Mark's hungry gaze trailed over her body and Lexie felt as if his gaze could set her on fire every second. When his eyes met hers again, a cocky grin appeared on his face and he pointed at her bra. "Didn't I just say that you should take off your clothes?"

Lexie was such aroused that she had problems to unhook her bra because her fingers were shaking vigorously. She hooked her fingers in her panties and pulled them down. Stepping out of them, she shook her shoulders and the straps of her bra fell down and with one final shake of her body she stood completely naked in front of him.

"Oh my god, Lex. You are beautiful."

He rushed to her and captured her lips in a searing kiss while her hand slipped down his body under his boxer briefs. Mark pushed his hips forward when she wrapped her hand around him and suddenly feeling too impatient to wait any longer, Lexie pushed his briefs down without stopping to kiss him.

Opening her legs she rubbed herself over him and both groaned quietly before Mark lifted her up so that she could wrap her legs around him, enhancing the pressure of his cock against her. Feeling him at her entrance, Lexie pulled his head back. She wanted to see his eyes when he entered her.

Understanding her silent request, Mark positioned himself and with only one stroke he penetrated her completely. It would have been painful if she wouldn't have been already that wet for him but she still needed to bit her lip. It was the only thing that stopped her from screaming out her pleasure.

Like he had already predicted it only take a few strokes before her orgasm rushed through her body. Digging her fingers in his ass, she crushed her lips on his while Mark pushed in and out of her in a frantic pace until her walls fluttering around him pushed him also over the edge.

Panting heavily they locked eyes and a big smile erupted on Lexie's face as she contracted her muscles around him one more time. Mark groaned out in pleasure, a huge smile appearing on his face. Leaning down he kissed her thoroughly once again.

"Damn, Lexie. I forgot how good we are together." Mark spoke hoarsely.

"Not I." Mark leaned back slightly and looked questioningly in her eyes. "I had dreams about you, Mark." Lexie said slightly embarrassed.

"Dirty dreams?"

"You have no idea." Lexie chuckled, earning a smug grin from him.

Mark helped her putting her legs back on the ground and slipped out of her reluctantly. Looking at her flustered appearance, he suddenly realized what he'd just done.

"Shit." Mark muttered under his breath, pinching his nose.

"What?" Lexie asked self-consciously.

"I just cheated on Julia." Mark said quietly.

"I'm sorry, Mark. Are you going to tell her?" Lexie hold her breath, afraid that this could be a one time only thing.

"Of course I'm going to tell her. I might be a jerk but I'm not such a jerk."

"You are not a jerk." Lexie whispered and Mark brushed a strand of hair out of her still damp face.

"Not with you." Mark spoke barely above a whisper.

"Does that mean that you are willing to give us another chance?" Lexie asked softly.

"Yes, that's exactly what it means."

"I love you, Mark Sloan." Lexie said, glad that from now on she would be able to tell him every day how much she loved him.

"And I love you, Alexandra Grey." Mark replied, pulling her into his embrace, glad that he was finally able to hold the only woman he ever loved in his arms again. 

_It's just a drop in the ocean, a change in the weather_

_I was praying that you and me might end up together_

_It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert_

_But I'm holding you closer than most_

_Cause you are my heaven_

_A Drop In The Ocean – Ron Pope_

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><p><strong>Okay, now that I got that off my chest I can go back to work on the next chapter of "As If They Were Meant To Be". :-) Please leave a review on your way out.<strong>


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